so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
