I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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