If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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