Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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