the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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