Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
