I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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