Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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