I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
