My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
