Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
