Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
