that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
