I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
