This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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