More tranny stories later!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
