I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
