Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He's on the porch naked. Help.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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