Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
