TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
