I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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