Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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