I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
