Can Purell be used as lube?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
