I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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