erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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