ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
