I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
