he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
