so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
