Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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