yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
