her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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