Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you have feelings for this penis?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
