you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
