Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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