She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
