Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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