Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
