Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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