So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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