Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
