I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
