I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
