My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
