so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
