If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
