sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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