I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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