Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
