Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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