Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
