I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
