HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
