i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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